Shed & Shine â Riff Episode 129: 3 Surgical Strikes to Really Know Thyself
00:00:00 - 00:00:19
Gino Wickman
Hello and welcome back. This episode I call "3 Surgical Strikes to Really Know Thyself." Now, as we've talked about in the past, there are four levels, roughly, in knowing thyself, and they keep going deeper.
00:00:19 - 00:00:51
Gino Wickman
And so on the surface level is kind of level one, where it's understanding your skills and your abilities, very important stuff, what you've learned in life, and discovering what you love to do, and what you're good at doing and really enjoy, and the things that you don't. All skills and abilities. Then from there we go down to the strengths and weaknesses level, where you're learning your strengths and your weaknesses, and spending more time in strengths and less time in weaknesses, and you're asking people, getting feedback, staying aware, and really discovering those things.
00:00:51 - 00:01:07
Gino Wickman
And then level three, we get into personality and traits, where you're really kind of understanding how you operate. Great profiling tools help us do this. And for instance, if you're an introvert, stop apologizing for it and just be it.
00:01:08 - 00:01:53
Gino Wickman
Then we get to level four, and that's kind of the soul level stuff, the shedding stuff, getting into what your soul wants, getting into how your ego is holding your soul hostage, and these layers that we need to shed to ultimately free yourself so you can let your freak flag fly. And today we're going to go really deep into that level, and that's why I call it "3 Surgical Strikes," because I'm going to go into three topics that I'm really excited about, and they're all three kind of unique in terms of where I'm going to take you. So let's do it. Let's go to number one.
00:01:53 - 00:02:37
Gino Wickman
And so the first surgical strike is about triggering. Now, we've talked about triggering multiple times in this podcast, but I'm going to have you look at it very differently than the way you've looked at it in the past, because, as we've talked about, triggering is when something pings you. It's a message. It's a lesson. It's your body telling you there's something that you're still hanging onto that you have not let go of. And a lot of that conversation is all around Discovery Number Two: all decisions are made out of love or fear. Where we're going here is into Discipline Number Three, know thyself.
00:02:37 - 00:03:21
Gino Wickman
We're going to come at it from a little different angle, because the angle I'm going to come at it from is this awareness of, while it is a lesson, while it is something you should shed, while it is something that you need to let pass through you, let's pretend you're not ready to. Let's pretend you can't for some reason, and it's just something that you need to know about yourself so you can fully be yourself. Because when you know all the things that trigger you, that is the first step toward freedom. You actually are kind of free when you're aware. Now, my hope for you is with that awareness, someday you will shed it.
00:03:21 - 00:03:59
Gino Wickman
Again, when someone says something, does something that pings you, a situation, a coworker, a friend, your significant other, a family member, again, it's a message. It's a sign. It's a lesson. The point here is to simply admit it. Know it. Own it. Become aware of it. And in that place, when it happens, you can simply go, "Ugh, there it is." You don't have to say it out loud. You can say it to yourself, but you know when it shows up. It becomes so familiar. Again, you're aware.
00:04:01 - 00:04:30
Gino Wickman
Frankly, it's what makes you you. We are all a little messy. You are a little messy. I am a little messy. We are all a little screwed up. I've yet to meet one person that didn't need a little therapy. And so I've shared many of my past wounds, triggering, things that ping me in many episodes. So I don't want to go into great detail on me.
00:04:31 - 00:05:03
Gino Wickman
I'm just going to give one example of another gentleman. I was in a meeting, there were a group of us, and it was so powerful because it's a very open and honest group, and this gentleman talked about when he got pinged with something we were talking about, he immediately shared and brought up something from his childhood. And so whenever he would work on the car with his dad, which is something that his dad did a lot, and he would help out, whenever he would screw up, give the wrong tool, do something wrong, his dad would just berate him.
00:05:03 - 00:05:35
Gino Wickman
And so shoot forward 30 years later, this guy is still dealing with those insecurities, that pain. He hasn't fully shed it, but at least he's aware. At least he knows when he's feeling insecure because of that past pain, and he's certainly working on it, but that's his ability to say, "Oh, there it is." And in this case, in a very trusting environment, he was comfortable enough to actually call out what was going on in him, and we all grew as a result of that.
00:05:36 - 00:06:14
Gino Wickman
If you can't shed it and you're not ready, it's okay. The point here in knowing it, being aware of it, and just saying, "Okay, this is just the makeup of who I am," because the human psyche is very complex, and to just say, "This is who I am," it's powerful. But what's important, again, is that you accept it. Not making an excuse for it. Not being a victim because of it. Not using it as a crutch. Not blaming others. It's taking responsibility for it.
00:06:14 - 00:06:51
Gino Wickman
And in that is an incredible level of emotional intelligence, and again, it's just that ability to say, "Oh, that just pinged me," when something pings you. Again, either to yourself or to somebody that you trust that you can share it with. And so hopefully this first surgical strike is clear. I'm asking you to just be aware of all those triggers. They are a makeup of who you are. Someday they will hopefully go away. But for now, if you're not ready, just be aware. Admit them and accept them.
00:06:53 - 00:07:20
Gino Wickman
On to surgical strike number two. So this one I'm going to come at you from left field, if you will, because number two is masculine energy and feminine energy. So we're talking about knowing thyself, you knowing you. And when I say masculine and feminine, you might instantly think man, woman, and that's not at all what we're talking about.
00:07:20 - 00:08:11
Gino Wickman
We all have some degree of masculine and feminine energy in us. The universe is made up of masculine and feminine energy. It's yin and yang. The Sun and Mars are considered masculine planets. The Moon and Venus are considered feminine planets. This has nothing to do with gender or sexual preference. It's about you fully understanding you, and all people have some balance of both inside of them. And the point is to know you, and the balance inside of you, and fully accepting that.
00:08:11 - 00:09:16
Gino Wickman
And so let's go down the list. Here are masculine energy qualities: things like autonomy, independence, individualism, assertiveness, driven, freedom, decisive, action-oriented, problem solver, focused, goal-oriented, grounded, practical, analytical, logical, doing, whether you're a man or a woman. Then there are the feminine energy qualities: communion, relationship, connection, nurturing, flow, flexible, creative, empathetic, radiance, warmth, softness, sensitivity, receptivity, intuition, fluidity, and being, whether you're a man or a woman.
00:09:18 - 00:09:53
Gino Wickman
So what percentage of each are you? I personally have a very strong masculine energy. My math, it's probably about 80-20. 80% masculine energy, 20% feminine energy. And left to my own, I love my masculine energy. My ego would love to stay there 100% of the time, but I find such incredible benefit when I bring the feminine qualities and that energy into my life, and it balances me. And I find that perfect balance is about 80-20 for me. Everyone's different.
00:09:54 - 00:10:24
Gino Wickman
But from the list, that 20% for me, I'm a very creative person. I have a high level of empathy for people. I'm a highly sensitive person, highly intuitive, and I love spending some of the time being. Again, left on my own, I'd be in doing mode always and forever, but being 20% of the time really balances me. And so again, all to get you thinking about you. So review the list. Think about your percentage.
00:10:25 - 00:11:27
Gino Wickman
And here's an interesting point, and I'm bringing this up because for some reason in the last five years, this whole feminine-masculine energy is coming up in a big way for me. And one of the ways is in relationship. It was in a book I was reading. It was talking about what makes for a great relationship between two people, and it's a balance of masculine and feminine energy. It's not about man-woman, nothing like that. It's masculine and feminine energy and that balance. And when there's a perfect balance between the two, regardless of who is what, that tends to lead to a stronger relationship. With that said, I know very feminine men who are married to very masculine women, and it works. Again, it's all about a balance. So what I would urge you to do, again, is just review the list, think about yourself, and be really honest so you can know thyself and ultimately fully be yourself.
00:11:29 - 00:12:06
Gino Wickman
On to surgical strike number three, and that is radical transparency. Okay, so if you know, the first one I shared, you're relatively comfortable and aware of. The second one might have thrown you for a loop. Who knows? I don't want to make any predictions. But this third one is also, it's how I'm going to get here is in a very weird way, and I hope you can just follow me to the punchline, to the finish line here, because I am making a point. So again, this surgical strike, in knowing myself at the deepest level, I'm calling radical transparency.
00:12:07 - 00:12:57
Gino Wickman
So a couple of points. First of all, I'm reminded of eight, nine, ten years ago, sitting in Peter Diamandis's Abundance 360 program with 250 other people, and Peter says from the stage, "Pretty soon we are heading toward radical transparency." Okay, and so what that means is like everybody knows everything. Like we're literally reading each other's minds. And if you see what Elon Musk is working on with Neuralink, where we're literally connecting our brains to the internet, and the predictions that singularity is coming where we're fully all connected. Again, who knows? I'm not pushing anything. I'm not preaching anything, but let's just play with this and try this hat on of radical transparency. Because the point is coming. Hang in there.
00:12:57 - 00:13:30
Gino Wickman
And the other thing that's funny is I've been having these conversations with friends lately, and it's a fascinating, fun conversation to hear everybody's perspective on what the world would look like in a world of radical transparency. In the interest of full disclosure, I don't like anything about it. It's maddening to me, but that's just my two cents. And this is in no way a rant of mine. This is not about ethics. I'm not sitting here sucking my thumb because things aren't going my way. I'm just trying to make a point.
00:13:30 - 00:14:46
Gino Wickman
And so in this point of radical transparency, look at the things that are happening. You know, black boxes in cars where they know everything that happened just before an accident and various things like that. Cameras everywhere. Street corners, phones, laptops. Our phones are listening to us. I think that's pretty much a fact now. I don't think I'm being a conspiracy theorist. AI recording almost everything. It's like maddening. Every Zoom call I get on now, somebody has their AI agent listening in and recording. And so with that, I'm just all about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And anything that's not that gets me a little shaky. Anyway, so there's my comment, opinion, perspective. Take it with a grain of salt. You can throw it all away because I still haven't gotten to the point. Because the point here is we are in the context of knowing thyself deep into that level four, and my aha at that level with this. Let's pretend we snapped our fingers and we are living in a world of radical transparency. So what? My aha is so what? For me, I still haven't got to the point yet. Almost to the point. Building on the point right now.
00:14:47 - 00:15:38
Gino Wickman
So I find myself when I have these conversations and I become more aware of how it's becoming more transparent, I find myself restricting, constricting, holding back, or just tightening up because I think about that and it makes me uncomfortable. And again, as I played it out in my mind, I got to this place where it's like, so what? Who gives a shit? So it's like, what do I have to hide? I don't care. At the end of the day, it's actually freeing. So hopefully I'm going to take you to a freeing place regardless of your beliefs. But it's like if a video got out of me on a Zoom call or God knows what, it's like I check myself and there's like, I don't care. Like there's nothing that could be put out there. So put it out there.
00:15:39 - 00:16:14
Gino Wickman
And I wonder the same thing for you, but here's the point now. It's like, what are we afraid of? What are you afraid of? What am I afraid of? What's coming up? If you shined a light on your entire life, if people could read your mind, what are you afraid of? What's the thing that comes up? And that's what I'm going to keep coming back to. What comes up? What comes up? What comes up? So just a fun little thought exercise.
00:16:14 - 00:16:50
Gino Wickman
And maybe in that place of what comes up, maybe there is something I shouldn't be doing, you shouldn't be doing, we shouldn't be doing. Maybe there's something you're doing that's not in alignment with your soul. Maybe this is an opportunity to become even more and/or fully authentic. So pretend they're watching. And I think it just sheds light and helps us all see that we are all screwed up. I mean, there are people that put on these perfect personas and they're just not real, and all of that comes to light.
00:16:50 - 00:17:36
Gino Wickman
Now with that, I do see positives in radical transparency because all of a sudden there's no place to hide if in fact there is fraud or corruption or waste. You know, so if somebody's doing something fraudulent or corrupt or wasteful, imagine the government flicking a switch and having to be radically transparent and how that might change things. Now this is not a political rant. It's just a thought exercise. And I'm not pushing for one thing or the other. I've already disclosed some of my beliefs, which are so irrelevant. The question is what comes up?
00:17:36 - 00:18:14
Gino Wickman
And then I wonder, for me, I just want my freedom. And these radical transparency things at first start to make me feel like I'm losing my freedom when maybe, when we look at it through this lens and we don't give a shit, maybe that is true freedom. So all that said, I'm not even sure I know how to end this episode because I hit you with three surgical strikes. Triggering, and maybe it's time to just accept it so that you're more yourself. Masculine, feminine, accepting some things about yourself that maybe scared you in the past.
00:18:14 - 00:18:44
Gino Wickman
Radical transparency and what that might mean or what that might open up for you. Do with that what you will. But I just come back to that same question in all of it. What comes up? What came up in this episode? And I'd urge you to write it down, spend some time on it, ponder, and please know thyself so you can fully be yourself. Let your freak flag fly.
00:18:45 - 00:18:58
Gino Wickman
Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us, and please tune in for the next episode. Until then, we wish you all the best in freeing your True Self. Stay focused and much love.
