Shed & Shine â Duo Episode: Coffee Shop Conversation
00:00:00 - 00:00:09
Gino Wickman
Mm, you son of a gun. I'm gonna piss a few people off because I'm pissed off.
00:00:21 - 00:00:29
Rob Dube
Hello everyone, my name is Rob Dube and I am here with Gino Wickman. Hello, Rob. How you doing?
00:00:29 - 00:00:30
Gino Wickman
Great. How are you?
00:00:30 - 00:00:35
Rob Dube
Good, good. Today we're going to do, what are we going to do? What are we going to do?
00:00:35 - 00:00:57
Gino Wickman
We're going to have a little get-together in a coffee shop today. And to explain what that means for those that don't know, Rob and I have been spending 25 years in a coffee shop once or twice a year talking about life for four hours. And that's what we're about to do here. It came to life in this podcast series, and it shows up every so many episodes. And so you may have heard it before, but for those that haven't, that's what this is about.
00:00:58 - 00:01:22
Gino Wickman
And so what happens is, just like in the coffee shop, we had no idea what topics we were going to bring, what we wanted to talk about, but it's just all about life and anything on our minds. And so we don't know what the topic's going to be. I'm actually going first today and I'm going to surprise Rob with my topic and we're going to talk about that for 5 or 10 minutes. And then Rob's going to take the floor and do the same. And we usually get through 2 topics.
00:01:23 - 00:01:25
Gino Wickman
And here we go. Are you ready, Rob?
00:01:26 - 00:01:28
Rob Dube
I am ready.
00:01:28 - 00:01:41
Gino Wickman
Oh, so here. And I always wait to the last second. And so literally, this came to me 45 seconds ago. But I'm very curious. Okay.
00:01:41 - 00:02:30
Gino Wickman
So you know, with our wonderful little 10 Disciplines company and our book Shine and this podcast, and we have our mastermind. You offer a service that we call The Journey. It's a very expensive, well worth it, great investment, high return opportunity for a driven person to work directly with you over a year. And I am curious because I've heard amazing things about it. I have no idea what the fuck goes on inside of it. And something pinged me today that I'm just curious.
00:02:31 - 00:03:07
Gino Wickman
So it's almost like when you answer, I'm curious for me and the rest of the world, just at a high level, what goes on in it. Not so much the process, but I'm fascinated by the feedback I hear. You're doing something where you're getting into, I think at this point they're all driven entrepreneurs, but again, we're talking about driven people. But like, what are you observing? What are the common threads? What is it you're doing that's so impactful? And so I'd just love for you to tell me what the hell goes on.
00:03:08 - 00:03:51
Rob Dube
I don't have a great answer other than to say that when I have the great honor of being in front of these wonderful people, I am so present, I am so fully energetically connected to them. I'm seeing what they can't see so clearly, and I'm helping them see it over and over and over again in different ways. So they can bring awareness to it, shift, and free themselves.
00:03:52 - 00:04:43
Gino Wickman
You know, I have a suspicion knowing you so well. I view you as like the master of questions. Like you're the most curious person I've ever met. And that's why I like when we sit in a coffee shop like this, I see you do it with me. And again, it's not coaching me, it's like anything, if I'm talking about clipping my toenails, we could go 30 minutes into clipping my toenails. You're so fascinated and interested and your curiosity and the questions you ask are so good. So what you just described there makes me feel like that's exactly one of the magic formulas, is just that you are, because I've felt your engagement so well anyway. So I can only imagine it's just these questions you keep asking. And then the second thing I now see where it's valuable is I hear about this summary that you do after every call.
00:04:43 - 00:05:07
Gino Wickman
And so you do this very in-depth summary with everything you heard. And you know, having been in therapy and having been coached myself in various things, we don't remember 90% of what the hell we just said. So that's really profound what you're doing there. And I can see because they talk about, man, Rob's summary, Rob's summary, Rob's summary. So like, I don't know, does that prompt anything for you?
00:05:07 - 00:05:42
Rob Dube
Yeah, I mean, I think you explained it well. Take the pressure off remembering anything you're saying right now. I got it all. And somehow I have the ability to retain all of this and reflect it back. And that's what the summary is called. It's called Your Reflections. And I love writing. So I'm able to use that as a creative outlet, my writing skills, to write the reflections on what just happened and help you see what's going on and then challenge you through different modalities.
00:05:42 - 00:05:57
Rob Dube
And I include different modalities. So there's work in between sessions where, and I want you to take it slow and take your time with it so it can all process and land so you can free it. You can unblock and be free.
00:05:58 - 00:06:09
Gino Wickman
Love it, love it, love it. And then what's coming up, the other thought is, I'm certainly not bringing this up for you to sell more Journeys, although I hope that happens. And if anybody's interested, reach out to Rob.
00:06:10 - 00:06:46
Gino Wickman
But it's like, I think there's magic in what you're saying that we can all learn from, you know? So it's like in every conversation with another being, to the degree we can be as present as you and as curious as you and ask questions like you, God, it would seem to me like that's half the battle for the other person. That's the recipient of that gift. For what that's worth, for anyone out there listening, try that on with the next person you have a conversation with. So appreciate you putting that gift out there to the world.
00:06:46 - 00:06:53
Rob Dube
Thank you. I didn't know you were bringing that up. And honestly, when you started to bring it up, I was feeling this energy in my,
00:06:53 - 00:06:53
Gino Wickman
I could see it.
00:06:53 - 00:06:58
Rob Dube
Like, no, don't bring that up.
00:06:59 - 00:07:00
Gino Wickman
By the way, I expected it.
00:07:01 - 00:07:09
Rob Dube
Onto my topic. What's triggering you these days?
00:07:09 - 00:07:13
Gino Wickman
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Man.
00:07:14 - 00:07:16
Rob Dube
What is triggering you these days?
00:07:17 - 00:07:43
Gino Wickman
This might require a long pause. You know, the good news is there's not a lot of triggering, so that's exciting, because I'm having trouble coming up with much of it. And so what I'm realizing is it's on a grander scale. Okay. And I don't know what's going to come out. I see it. I'm going to try and describe it. And I think I will.
00:07:44 - 00:08:09
Gino Wickman
But you know, I went through every relationship and I'm like, is that person pinging me? Am I getting, there's not a lot of that left going on. And so it feels like if there's something that gnaws at me, that gets me a little reactive, that breaks my heart, that has a grip on me, it's opinions.
00:08:11 - 00:08:47
Gino Wickman
This isn't any one opinion. It's like a universal opinion. And you might actually help me, because now we're sitting in the coffee shop, we're having a conversation. You actually might help me by listening in and articulating what I'm trying to articulate. But it's like, I have some beliefs. And I don't expect anybody to believe anything I believe. But I sure as hell like talking about it. And I sure as hell love conversations.
00:08:47 - 00:09:18
Gino Wickman
And it's like, I'm so blessed. I'm reminded, I took some time off in March and I took time off to write a new book that I'm writing, but I spent some time in coffee shops with friends because I had some time. And we had some of the most amazing energy. I mean, we like walked out of there floating, okay? And one of us, we totally disagree with each other politically. And we had a political conversation. And so when you love each other, what the hell do you care what the other person believes? Just listen to it.
00:09:19 - 00:09:51
Gino Wickman
And so the thing that's triggering me most, I think, is pushback I get on my beliefs. You know, people threatened by my beliefs, like I'm that important. You know, like my opinion really matters that much. But let's pretend my opinion does matter that much. What the fuck do you care? I don't have a problem with your opinion. I don't have a problem with your beliefs. So if you're incapable of having a conversation with me, back off.
00:09:51 - 00:10:10
Gino Wickman
And so it's universal for me. It's more than just one person, and it's more than 10 people, and it's more than 100 people. I don't know the math, but this is what happens. And I've touched on this topic in the past, but it's like the more people I'm reaching, the more it invites this.
00:10:11 - 00:10:47
Gino Wickman
And it's really interesting because I'm going through this expansion and contraction period, which happens to all of us. That's how everything in the universe grows. And it's been happening since birth, growing pains and growth spurts, growing pains. And so I will go through these periods where it's like, oh, it's coming on so strong that I curl up in a ball and deal with it. And then I get strengthened and I expand. And then those fuckers come at me again and it's like, oh, then I contract and then I expand. I contract, I expand. I actually feel like I'm in a little bit of a contraction period right now.
00:10:48 - 00:10:55
Gino Wickman
So what's triggering me most right now is the opinions of others.
00:10:56 - 00:10:57
Rob Dube
Opinion of your opinions.
00:10:58 - 00:11:12
Gino Wickman
Opinion, you know, judgment of others might be a good way to put it, but yeah, opinions of my opinions. I let them be them. Why can't they let me be me?
00:11:13 - 00:11:14
Rob Dube
Why can't they?
00:11:15 - 00:11:20
Gino Wickman
I don't know. I don't know.
00:11:20 - 00:11:49
Rob Dube
So what is it deep inside where that is so triggering for you? Because here's what I hear. I hear you can accept their beliefs, no problem. I hear you loud and clear. I respect you. I want to hear what you have to say. I'm open to it. Why can't you do the same for me?
00:11:49 - 00:12:14
Gino Wickman
Exactly. That's it. And there's a great example of this, because I don't want to get into too many specifics, but there's a great example. So I'm writing this new book, and in every book that I write, I have test readers. And this book in particular, 30 test readers, and I got some incredible feedback, but also some constructive feedback that really altered the course of how I've written this book.
00:12:14 - 00:12:24
Gino Wickman
And the point I'm making, though, is I love that. Like, kick me in the balls. I got no problem with that. I am so good with constructive feedback. It makes me better. I love it.
00:12:24 - 00:12:39
Gino Wickman
So that's not what this is about. It's not constructive feedback going on out there. It is like forces trying to tell me I'm wrong. Forces trying to tell me my beliefs are wrong. I mean, it's like, careful, you know? You're crossing a line.
00:12:39 - 00:12:41
Rob Dube
Okay. Yeah, maybe they are wrong.
00:12:44 - 00:12:55
Gino Wickman
Well, I don't know why that stumped me, but I like that. I'm incapable of going there anymore in my life. Right or wrong doesn't exist. Like, I don't even know what right or wrong means.
00:12:55 - 00:12:57
Rob Dube
Did it a minute ago?
00:12:57 - 00:13:15
Gino Wickman
But here's what I'm saying. From my standpoint, like when you say what if they are wrong, that doesn't even factor in. The question is, what if I'm wrong? You know, so that's the one that probably hits home more in terms of I'm still building a strength for this.
00:13:16 - 00:13:29
Gino Wickman
So worrying about whether they're wrong or right is almost irrelevant. It's like I can't, I don't get the energy of why would anybody do that? Like, there's the problem in our world.
00:13:29 - 00:13:39
Gino Wickman
I mean, it's like, back off everybody. What happened? What messed us all up so bad? So that's,
00:13:40 - 00:13:40
Rob Dube
you know what I love about it?
00:13:40 - 00:13:43
Gino Wickman
It's starting to trigger me right now, damn it. Did you mean to do this?
00:13:44 - 00:13:49
Rob Dube
Well, you asked me to ask questions. I'm asking. Do you still want me to ask?
00:13:49 - 00:13:53
Gino Wickman
Yeah, of course. I'm having fun with you. I'm loving this.
00:13:53 - 00:14:09
Rob Dube
I wanted to say something. My opinion from knowing you for 25-plus years, you have a God-given gift to communicate, to take ideas, to simplify them, to get through to people.
00:14:10 - 00:14:17
Rob Dube
You have a passion and an energy that when you listen to it, it's like, "Okay, I got it. I got it."
00:14:19 - 00:14:34
Rob Dube
Maybe this is what you need to feel to release that so the right messages are coming through you to get to the place that you're hoping for.
00:14:34 - 00:14:39
Gino Wickman
And I believe that to be 100% true. Nothing you said is a surprise.
00:14:39 - 00:14:46
Rob Dube
Right. You've got it covered already. You don't need the help. So why are you still struggling then?
00:14:47 - 00:15:03
Gino Wickman
Because I expand and I contract. I'm not fully there yet. I'm in the process. And I don't know if the breakthrough is coming a year from now or 10 years from now or 20 years from now or the next lifetime.
00:15:03 - 00:15:04
Rob Dube
Tomorrow.
00:15:04 - 00:15:08
Gino Wickman
It's going to happen when it's going to happen. Hope it happens sooner than later though.
00:15:08 - 00:15:10
Rob Dube
Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:10 - 00:15:35
Gino Wickman
But it's like, oh, just imagine if everyone just listened to each other and said, "Thank you for sharing that." And like, crude language always for me, but this is like heaven to me. "Thank you for sharing that. I completely disagree with every word you said, but I heard every word. I understand it. And thank you for sharing that." If we could all just do that.
00:15:35 - 00:15:38
Rob Dube
From the heart. Yeah, energetically.
00:15:38 - 00:16:01
Gino Wickman
Genuinely. To my friend who's on the other side of the political leaning. I love it. I love hearing his perspective. And when he shared his, I said, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, I disagree with you, but thank you. He did the same with me. I shared mine. He looked at me like I was crazy, but there was love. He said, thank you for sharing that.
00:16:01 - 00:16:13
Gino Wickman
It would seem that's how it should work. But again, this is just my belief. My two cents, take it with a grain of salt. I ain't that fricking important, man. I ain't that fricking important.
00:16:14 - 00:16:16
Rob Dube
What do you always say? A boy can dream.
00:16:16 - 00:16:17
Gino Wickman
A boy can dream.
00:16:17 - 00:16:19
Rob Dube
Thank you, Gino.
00:16:19 - 00:16:20
Gino Wickman
My pleasure, brother.
00:16:20 - 00:16:23
Rob Dube
All right. I think we're out of time. Any last words?
00:16:23 - 00:16:24
Gino Wickman
We've said it all.
00:16:25 - 00:16:35
Rob Dube
We've said it all. All right, everyone. Thanks for joining us as always. And we will see you next time. And in the meantime, stay focused and much love.
00:16:36 - 00:16:49
Gino Wickman
Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us and please tune in for the next episode. Until then, we wish you all the best in freeing your True Self. Stay focused and much love.
