TEN Episode 120 – Duo Episode: Coffee Shop Conversation
00:00:18 Rob Dube
Hello everyone, my name is Rob Dube, and I am here with Gino Wickman. Gino, good to see you today.
00:00:22 Gino Wickman
You as well.
00:00:29 Gino Wickman
I always try and get you to laugh.
00:00:31 Rob Dube
What should we talk about?
00:00:32 Gino Wickman
Let's talk about a coffee shop.
00:00:35 Rob Dube
Yeah.
00:00:37 Gino Wickman
Set it on over, tee it up, and this is a coffee shop conversation. So for those of you out there that don't know what this is, Rob and I, for the last 25 years, or however long it's been, I lose track of time, he and I would meet in a coffee shop a couple of times a year, and we would spend a half a day, and we would just talk about life and anything and everything, and they were the most amazing conversations. And so we've brought that thing we've always done to this podcast series. And so every so often we will do a coffee shop conversation.
00:01:12 Gino Wickman
And so what that is, is Rob and I would never know what the other person was going to talk about. And today we have no idea what the other person's going to bring up as a topic. Today Rob is going to go first. We typically get through two, and he's just going to bring up the topic. I will be surprised by it, and we're just going to talk about it. And the whole idea is, you know, I take myself to a place where there's nobody listening, and he and I are just having the old coffee shop conversation, and then I'll go next.
00:01:39 Rob Dube
There we go. Okay. And normally we're at Starbucks. That's the place. Gino's place. So I have a list of five things.
00:01:56 Rob Dube
I'm curious, when things are going fast and furious for you, when you've got a lot going on in your work life and in your non-work life, how do you slow down? Before you answer, I'll say this while you're writing things down that come to you. Sometimes I picture you, which could be completely wrong. It's just what I picture.
00:02:21 Rob Dube
If any of you have seen the movie Goodfellas, there's a scene where Ray Liotta's character is in the kitchen and he's cooking, and there's all this stuff going on, and there's a helicopter and he's sweating and he's got to do this and he's checking on that, and then he has to get in the car and he's driving around town and there's just like he's going a thousand miles an hour, there's a thousand things in his head. And sometimes I feel like Gino's doing that.
00:02:46 Rob Dube
I'll be conversing with you. You're over here, you're doing this, and then you're doing this. So I thought to myself, I wonder how he slows things down in the midst of all this. So that's my topic for you.
00:03:00 Gino Wickman
So there's a couple of things that come up first. And you know, what I'm trying to do right now is just take myself to the coffee shop. Because again, we're sitting here. I'm sipping on my tea, you're sipping on whatever you sip on, and you're just saying, "Hey Gino, how do you deal with fast and furious?" Right? So what you just described is what it sometimes looks like and feels like. And the first thing that comes to my mind is Kathy, my wife, and she'll have this thing that she'll say to me every once in a while, and she'll like, I'll come home and she'll look at me and just kind of like take a step back and go, "Man, you are wigged out." So she says it exactly that way. And I get so upset. I get, "You are wigged out." And I get pissed. I'm like, it triggers me, right? Because I got it all under control. But it's a beautiful thing. So I get triggered. I get mad at her for saying that. Then I calm down and I go, "She, once again, she's right." And it like starts to calm me down, you know, so it brings me down. But anyway, so that's what that brought up for me. Because I'm guessing I look just like Ray Liotta in that exact moment when she says, "You look wigged out." Because I've tried. So now I want to pull that scene up for her and say, "Does this look familiar?" That's the first thing that came up.
00:04:08 Gino Wickman
The second thing that comes up, it feels like you've thrown me a softball. And that's not going to be true because I'm sure you'll have a follow-up question, but you're saying, "How do I, you know, not go fast and furious or not be wigged out?" So let's use wigged out because that's the word, you know, in my household. I take time off, you know? So I take time off and I don't want to just, it seems like a softball and an easy answer and it's one of the Disciplines, but I just, I take time off.
00:04:34 Gino Wickman
I mean, I'd probably be dead by now if I didn't take time off and I just kept going at the speed I went at in my 20s. I would probably be dead right now. My heart would have given out. It almost did. So I take time off. So the point I'm trying to make here is, you know, I come home at a decent time and I'm wigged out. So, you know, I've got three hours to decompress, which really helps and resets me for the next day, but that's not enough. I take most weekends off. That allows me to decompress. I take week-long vacations. I take a month-long sabbatical. And I think that's my special formula. And I am not prescribing a formula. Everybody's got to figure out their own, but that's how I avoid the wigged out.
00:05:16 Gino Wickman
Now, the good news is, you know, I was wigged out every minute of every day in my 20s. I was wigged out half the time in my 30s, you know, 70% of the time I was wigged out. So it diminishes my wigginess. There's been a couple of wigged out moments in the last month, I would say. But then I had this, it's like the last maybe three months of the year, last year, no wigginess. So it's diminished greatly, but it is because I take time off and I recharge. And I'll start there.
00:05:47 Rob Dube
Yeah. So I'm wondering when the wigging out is actually happening, how are you remaining in a peaceful place?
00:05:57 Gino Wickman
I think what I do when it's — I'm trying to find your words — fast and furious, I'm still taking mini breaks, as I've mentioned in past episodes, my doctor called it that, or time off. So for instance, let's pretend it's like a red line day and I maybe have, whatever it is, six meetings top to bottom. They're an hour and a half. Like the day is full.
00:06:27 Gino Wickman
There's still a half-hour buffer in between every one of those meetings. So I come out of that meeting and I can debrief and hand off all the things I need to hand off from that meeting and then prepare well for the next meeting where most will jump from meeting to meeting to meeting to meeting to meeting. That 30 minutes is magical in terms of bringing me back down to the ground. And then again, I'll heat up in that next meeting and maybe I don't come all the way down to the ground, but by the end of the day, after, you know, four, five, six of those, even with those half-hour buffers in between, you know, by the end of the day, I'm wigged out. But those little breaks in between to kind of catch up definitely greatly reduce the wigginess because I probably would be twice as wigged out if I didn't do that. So that's one example.
00:07:19 Gino Wickman
And then the other mini break I've talked about in the past is just the deep belly breath. So now I'm so conscious of this where it's like I can feel the amping up. And I'll just take two, three, four, five belly breaths and that brings me down to the ground as well.
00:07:33 Gino Wickman
Sometimes I will meditate during the day. You know, if I'm working from home in my home office, I've got my meditation chair right there. I'll just go sit in that for five, ten, fifteen minutes. That works. I'll do it in my office occasionally if it's just me working in my office.
00:07:47 Gino Wickman
But sometimes it's a session. You know, it's an intense, all-out, tough eight-hour session and there's no place to go hide, you know? Those are the ones I think that maybe I get most wigged out because I gave it my all and there's no time to decompress. And that 25-minute drive home wasn't enough. And then that's when Kathy sees that look in my eyes. So there's some thoughts that come.
00:08:08 Rob Dube
No, those are very practical. You know, I'll just share a personal experience that came up for me. I was running one day. I had a very busy day. I was wigged out and I went for a run because I just felt like I had to release some physical energy. And I went on this, I was out around neighborhoods and things like that, but then I got off into this half-mile trail that I like. And I was running through the trail, was in the woods.
00:08:33 Rob Dube
And I realized about halfway through, why am I running in here? Let me slow down and walk and just take my time and take it all in. So I walked for a quarter of a mile till I got back out to the sidewalk and started running again. And I noticed I had more energy all of a sudden. And also all this stuff that I'd been thinking about earlier in the day that was going on, the wigged out stuff, it felt a lot calmer and clearer to me.
00:08:59 Rob Dube
Now, so I just use that as an analogy of just like your belly breaths or that meditation, just taking that short period of time can just really reset your nervous system.
00:09:10 Gino Wickman
I think it's time for topic number two.
00:09:12 Rob Dube
Let's do it.
00:09:12 Gino Wickman
All right, mister, here's mine. So in our mastermind, we had a guest. So every March I take a sabbatical or some time off. And so I'm not on the March mastermind. And so we bring a guest in and we had a guest and it seemed pretty powerful.
00:09:31 Gino Wickman
You also took a sabbatical in there. And so we didn't see each other for two months. The guest is somebody who you've been working with and I notice a difference in you. So I feel like he's had an impact on you. I also heard you mention that he may be the one that has helped you with your eczema/skin condition.
00:09:54 Gino Wickman
So I'm just curious because we talked about the eczema in previous episodes and, you know, we've talked about psychosomatic stuff. So I would just love to hear your perspective on him, what he did for you, and do you really believe there's something that he did to heal that for you?
00:10:16 Rob Dube
I have no clue.
00:10:21 Gino Wickman
That's okay.
00:10:22 Rob Dube
That's the truth.
00:10:22 Gino Wickman
Then back into my question.
00:10:24 Rob Dube
That's the truth, but yeah, I mean, his name is Gabe Roberts. And yeah, he was introduced to me through somebody that I work with, a functional doctor. And, you know, he did subconscious work with me. So that was kind of my first entry point into ever doing anything like that. There was also some regression work.
00:10:49 Rob Dube
So I'm trying to not get too much into the weeds with it, not because I don't want to talk about it, but I don't know that it's super relevant right now. But I just can say in the work that we did leading into where I felt like I just completely let go, there was just a session that we had where I just said, "I'm just done. I don't need to work with you anymore," which is what he wants. That's the goal. I said, "I just, I just, I can't explain it. It's like, I don't need to do this. It's all good. I'm whole. It is what it is."
00:11:22 Gino Wickman
Yeah.
00:11:22 Rob Dube
And yeah.
00:11:23 Gino Wickman
And how many sessions did you do? You may have said it and I missed it.
00:11:26 Rob Dube
Three.
00:11:26 Gino Wickman
Yeah, right. Yeah. And when were the three sessions?
00:11:30 Rob Dube
They were in the late summer, fall timeframe.
00:11:33 Gino Wickman
Yeah. So it was the middle, end of last year.
00:11:35 Rob Dube
Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:35 Gino Wickman
Right. So again, you said you don't want to go deep. I'm going to take you.
00:11:39 Rob Dube
I don't mind.
00:11:40 Gino Wickman
But only for five minutes. Yeah. Because I'm sitting here in a coffee shop with you, curious about this thing that happened in your life. And the guy seems really interesting. So I watched the playback of the mastermind. Seems like a really interesting guy. And so when you say regression work, what is regression work?
00:11:56 Rob Dube
That is where something happened to you at some point in your life and there was a moment in time when it first happened. Now, it may have happened numerous times after, but there was a moment in time. So he gets you through his various techniques. He gets you to a place where you go to that moment.
00:12:13 Rob Dube
And it seems like it can't, like what is coming out of — I'll use my own experience. When I say you, I'm referring to me. What is happening with me in that is I'm saying where I am, what the situation is, and it seems like I'm just making it up, which he says, "It's going to seem like you're making it up." He said, "But just stay with it."
00:12:35 Rob Dube
And that's the moment it happened. And that's the time where he takes you through a process to be safe, essentially. And it can go back to, you know, being in the womb. It can go back to past lives if you believe in that kind of thing, which I do, but I'm not suggesting everyone should or that it's even a thing, you know?
00:12:59 Rob Dube
And so I had those kinds of experiences with him. And there was one in particular. There was a brownstone. I was sitting on the steps and the inside was like on fire. And I saw it was on fire. I turned around, I walked in and I said, "Everything's fine." And the fire was gone. And that was the end of it. And it was that session where I felt, "This is it."
00:13:30 Gino Wickman
Cool. And that's the way it's supposed to work. That's the way it's supposed to work. Now, with that, because I love that you brought up past life regression. I recorded an episode on this. So you have no idea. So it will have aired before this. So it's funny that that's coming up again for some crazy reason. And I was curious when you said regression, was it this life or past life regression? Because there's both types, like you said. So you've answered that. And then what would the subconscious work, what does that mean? What does subconscious work mean?
00:13:57 Rob Dube
So it's just getting you out of your conscious mind and getting, you know, getting you, yeah, into your subconscious, going deep inside of the things that your conscious mind is blocking from coming out, like that first moment when I was, you know, in a room and there was something going on in the other room with my parents and it was not good.
00:14:17 Rob Dube
And I can't remember exactly what it was or I'd say it, but I was in a bed and I was a baby. And it just seems like that can't even be real. How can I remember that? That can't be real.
00:14:26 Rob Dube
That was where my subconscious, it came out. You know, he got me there.
00:14:30 Gino Wickman
Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. And then I think the last thing that comes up and is a curiosity because I'm such a believer and we've been talking about this, like I healed my lower back pain through subconscious work and Dr. Sarno's work and Healing Back Pain and that type of thing because it's, again, there's a belief, as Gabe believes, all pain is psychosomatic.
00:14:52 Gino Wickman
I mean, how powerful is that? Yeah. And so I'm just curious. And when I say pain, all body conditions are psychosomatic. Back to your eczema and your skin condition. So is the skin condition resolved for you?
00:15:04 Rob Dube
I would say so at this moment. We'll come back. I have no idea.
00:15:08 Gino Wickman
I mean, so it's incredible. You know, that's probably the most fascinating part for me, whatever it was, right? Because you don't know, but you've been doing the work, whatever the work is, you know? And sometimes the work is, I believe my back pain was most healed.
00:15:22 Gino Wickman
Dr. Sarno has these 10 things you read every day, which I think were really helpful and some ahas about, you know, how perfectionists walk in a constant state of anger because nothing can be perfect. Those were two powerful insights. But I think the most powerful, I did some subconscious work with a woman, which stuck with me as well.
00:15:39 Gino Wickman
But just the time I would spend in meditation, I would do this meditation at night going into my back and into just an energetic field of my subconscious and just removing that — Sarno believes it's all repressed anger, you know — just releasing and releasing and releasing. So just powerful stuff.
00:15:59 Rob Dube
And how's your back?
00:16:00 Gino Wickman
It's great. It's gone. I mean, it's crazy. Things that I used to do that hurt my back have not hurt my back. We'll see how golf season goes, but it's like, it's crazy. I mean, it's gone.
00:16:10 Rob Dube
I mean, I've heard the stories over and over again. And if you're open, I think that's a big piece to it. I mean, you were open to it. You know, you have to be.
00:16:19 Gino Wickman
You bet. Yeah. You bet. Well, thank you for sharing that, my friend.
00:16:22 Rob Dube
Absolutely.
00:16:22 Gino Wickman
And that's the coffee shop.
00:16:24 Rob Dube
All right. There we go. We're out of time. Thank you as always to each and every one of you for joining us. And we look forward to seeing you next time. And in the meantime, stay focused and much love.
00:16:37 Gino Wickman
Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us. And please tune in for the next episode. Until then, we wish you all the best in freeing your True Self. Stay focused and much love.
