Hello, everyone. My name is Rob Dube, and I am here with Gino Wickman. Gino, good to see you. How are you doing?
Gino Wickman (00:38):
I'm doing it, man. I'm looking forward to this.
Rob Dube (00:41):
All right. As always, I like to start with some context to get your gears turning. Today, we're going to dive into something that many driven people wrestle with. That is how to grow without losing yourself. So we have a world that is obsessed with more impact, more recognition, more success, and how do you expand in your profession or your passion without sacrificing your values, your energy, and your inner peace? It doesn't matter if you're a business leader, an artist, an athlete, a teacher, a healer. Growth can be beautiful. But it can also pull you away from what matters most if you're not intentional about it. This is about aligning your outer expansion, your outer world with your inner truth. Today, I'm hoping we can explore how to keep your heart and soul intact while you grow. All right. Did that do enough to get your gears turning, Gino?
Gino Wickman (01:39):
There's a slow turning going on. A couple of thoughts. One thing that's really interesting is I wrote more and more here before you said what you said. It's really interesting. I mean, that is what goes on. So the place I want to start is it makes me think about all of the ways that I get pulled. The more that I could do. I'm going back 25 years through three different businesses, and I could always do more talks, and I could always do more podcasts, and I could always do more meetings, and I could always write more books. If I was willing to go out there and do 100 talks a year, there's no question I'd sell more shit and help more people and make more money. But it's like there's got to be. For me, it's always this really simple formula that's maybe not fair and as simple for others, but it's like, how much is too much?
(02:44):
There's got to be a line. I always go from the 0% to 100% thing, where I can't do or shouldn't do 365 talks a year. That would be crazy. I know I can't do that, and I want to do more than zero. My job is to figure out where's the happy medium. Again, I do three to five talks a year, a very small number. I do 35 sessions a year. This is where I'm at this point in my life. My 100% capacity is certainly full with lots of stuff, but I can't do it all. So I have to put a line in the sand for myself. Then this is where all of a sudden the Disciplines start to come into the conversation. Know your 100%, what is your work capacity? How much are you willing to work?
(03:31):
Because now I got to fill that with the highest impact items. What is your 10-year thinking? I got to think about where do I want to be in 10 years and 20 years, multi-decade terms? What do I want my life to look like? Then say no often. What are all the things I need to say no to do that? It's all about boundaries as we're talking about. Then all of a sudden, the average normal driven person you get pulled into the helium of more and more and more...
(03:59):
Same thing with money though. It's like, "I know I could have made more money. I know I could be making more money right now. I could have sold EOS Worldwide for more. I could have held on to EOS Worldwide for three more years and gotten three times as much money." I have not one regret because I'm freeing myself up for the next thing. The money is nice. But where does it stop? Do I need $10 billion? What's the number? I just don't need that much. So now I'm balancing between wanting to be a great family man and a great husband and a great friend and a great businessman and a great... You add all that up, and there's only so much time to do all of those things. Some things have to give, and I'm just willing to give on some of that income and that wealth.
(04:49):
Certainly, there's an amount I want to have because I want to be financially independent. But where does it stop? Because you could just keep going and going and going more and more and more. You got to create your own filter because it's so exciting as a driven person, you can get sucked up in that thing into the title of this podcast or where you started is you can completely lose yourself. There's so many driven people that just completely lose themselves. Not only do they then lose themselves, they lose everything, they lose their family. I'm able to anticipate, and it's just not worth it to me to lose all of those things. I work this much, and I can say no to everything else, and that's going to make me this much money, and it's going to create this kind of wealth while at the same time being all of those other wonderful things in my life.
Rob Dube (05:38):
Was there ever a time where you felt like you were losing yourself?
Gino Wickman (05:40):
Oh, my god, so many times. That's where I learned is you get stung. I mean, I lost myself in my 20s. That's all I did was worked in my 20s. It's amazing, I'm still married, I was just not there. Then when I was home, I was not present. Thank God I got my wake-up call toward my late 20s and into my 30s, I was able to become more balanced, but I completely lost myself in my 20s.
Rob Dube (06:07):
That's a really important point for any of us. First of all, that you may have some ebbs and flows in your life where you get really clear and maybe you lose some clarity because you get sucked into something that maybe isn't in alignment with your True Self. I know that definitely has happened to me over the years, similar to you, the first 10 years of business, I think I was completely lost, honestly, and thank you for coming into my life. So you're one of the people I think every single night. I truly do.
Gino Wickman (06:35):
That's nice.
Rob Dube (06:35):
One of my teachers, my mentors, and just helping me get clear and get things really focused on what mattered most in my life. From that point on, I think having that clarity really helped guide decisions that have really helped me in the totality of my life. So that's something that you can all of think about as a listener out there is look at the totality of your life and is all of this serving you and get really clear if you're getting lost and going down paths for the wrong reasons, chasing after something you don't really understand why you're doing it. All right, Gino, what is something that driven people tend to sacrifice when they start growing fast in their careers or their businesses? Have you noticed anything as you've worked with some of your clients that you notice where you notice they're losing themselves?
Gino Wickman (07:31):
I feel like I'm going to repeat myself. Hold me to task, but certainly, if there's something, can you share an example that might prompt something?
Rob Dube (07:39):
Yeah, two examples.
Gino Wickman (07:41):
Please.
Rob Dube (07:42):
One person shared with me, "Once I get this next deal, then I'm going to really focus on my life." As I like to say, they were kicking the can on the real problems. There was no way when they got that deal that they were going to address what was really going on in their life. I just knew it. I intuitively knew it. I had another person, and I've shared this story before, is one of our clients who said they were really focused on an exit three years from now. This person said to me, "Then I'm going to start living." I said to her, "Will you be living in three years? I mean, come on, let's really think about this."
(08:22):
That's losing yourself. I think this is where the 10 Disciplines really is useful. We have tool, a shameless plug, the True Self-assessment, take it every 90 days, so you can course-correct yourself before things spin out of control. I think this is a really important thing. You created EOS, and every 90 days, it's a reset. It's where are things at, you take stock of where things are, you make changes. So it never gets out of control. That's one of the things I love about the assessment, and we have our mastermind group take it every 90 days, and we take a deep dive into the areas where they're off track. Because there's always something off track. So this way you don't lose yourself.
Gino Wickman (09:04):
Here's what you prompt. I'm going to do a real specific one. Because, again, my mind just goes to these general categories of sacrifice, and I think that's clear to everybody out there. Maybe I'm not being fair, but here's a really specific one. So for whatever reason, this flashed in my mind for whoever you are out there that needs to hear this. This is directed at you is here's an example of something, a driven person sacrifices, and let's use an example of a driven leader. You have people that you lead for some reason. You have people that report to you and your intoxication around whatever it is, making more money, doing more, getting more, whatever this thing is that you can do more and more of. What you sometimes sacrifice is time with your people is time to grow your people, time to coach your people, time to mentor your people.
(10:00):
If there's an aspect of you that loves to teach and build people up and lift people up and grow people, because when you grow people, it makes you better, that's one of the things that you're sacrificing is you're sacrificing that incredible opportunity with your people. Now we could transfer that to parenting, and we can talk about not enough time with your kids to be a great parent, but we don't have to go there. But that's another example. But some of you out there, you're sacrificing this opportunity to really leave a legacy with the people that report to you because you're so damn busy doing all that other intoxicating stuff and you're just not saying no.
Rob Dube (10:43):
What do you think you would say to someone who feels like they have to give up part of themselves to achieve in the spirit of achievement?
Gino Wickman (10:54):
I'm going to say this. There's an old saying, it talks about how you can live out of balance in life as long as you know for how long and why.
Rob Dube (11:05):
Thomas Merton.
Gino Wickman (11:06):
Was it Thomas Merton? Tom Hopkins is who was given credit for saying that 35 years ago. I don't know who said it first, but maybe he got it from him. But regardless, that's what I would say to that person. If, in fact, that person is going to sacrifice themselves for a short period of time, because I have sacrificed myself, there was a time when my session load with clients was at an all-time high, and I simultaneously wrote a book that pushed me to my limit and pushed me to the limit of my personal relationships. But I knew that it was short-lived. It was a long period of time. It was 1, 1.5-year, but I knew there was an end. So I was able to live out of balance because I knew for how long and why. Assuming that's the situation with that hypothetical person you're sharing with me.
(12:06):
But if it's somebody who is about to spend the rest of their life doing that, I would share everything I shared in the previous 10 minutes of this podcast episode. I would urge them to really look at the entirety of their life, 10-year thinking, paint the perfect picture. What does the perfect life look like for you? Hopefully, help them see how there's a balance that they're striving for and that will help them see that they can't put 100% of everything into everything and sacrifice all that stuff for very long without a lot of things suffering.
Rob Dube (12:41):
You might ask yourselves, "Why do I want this? Who told me I have to do it this way? What really matters to me, even if no one else approves?" I was having a conversation with somebody who's in their 20s, and they were in a career that was very successful, and it was draining them. Now thank goodness, this person's in their 20s and said, "This, I cannot continue." Even though they were making great money. Now the parents felt like, "This is crazy. You can't walk away from this." But the person did. I gave that person so much credit because that's a hard thing. She was saying, "Why am I doing this? Who told me I need to do it this way? This isn't what my life is going to be about." Depending on what age you are, it doesn't really matter. You can always ask those questions. Now do you notice any signs with people who are out of alignment with their True Self? Things that come up.
Gino Wickman (13:42):
Stress, a frowny face, drained energy bags under their eyes? Yes, all of those sides.
Rob Dube (13:53):
Watch when your decisions are fear-based, we write about this in Shine and pay really close attention. Maybe even spend a few days with your one place. That's one of our Disciplines as well. Just write down, "Is the decision I'm making right now fear-based or love-based? Am I fearing I'm missing out of something, or do I fear I'm not enough?" These things are what wears you down. When you start to recognize them, this is the awareness level. You can unblock that energy and-
Gino Wickman (14:23):
To just grab that too, it's like they're trying to fill a hole. They're trying to fill a hole that can't be filled. So chase back where the hole came from, what conditioning led you to believe that there's a hole that needs to be filled. When you can shed that layer and whatever that is, all of a sudden you realize there's no hole to be filled, you are whole and complete and lacking nothing. Then you'll start making more love-based decisions.
Rob Dube (14:50):
Oh, that's a good place to stop, I think. Do you have more?
Gino Wickman (14:52):
No, we said it all.
Rob Dube (14:54):
That was good. All right, Gino, thanks so much. As always, thank you for joining us. You don't have to lose yourself to grow. In fact, the more you stay true to who you are, the more powerful your growth becomes. We'll see you next time, and as always, stay focused, and much love.
Gino Wickman (15:15):
Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us, and please tune in for the next episode. Until then, if you'd like to see where you are on your True Self journey, go to shedandshinepodcast.com to take the True Self-assessment and receive personalized guidance. If you're all ready to begin your inner world journey with Rob and myself, please join us for the next round of the 10 Disciplines group coaching program. We wish you all the best in freeing your True Self, stay focused, and much love.
