Gino
Welcome to the shed and shine podcast. I am Gino Wickman. This is where Rob Dube and I help driven entrepreneurs shed their shit, free their True Selves, unlock true entrepreneurial freedom, and shine. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us, and we hope to make a huge impact on you. Hello, and welcome to this episode of the shed and shine podcast and my latest riff. This one I call ways to find peace or don't. So this is about ways we find peace as human beings, and the ways that we don't find peace as human beings.
And when I say the word peace, what's really important is peace can also mean joy, or love, or fulfillment, or bliss, but I'm just gonna use the word peace throughout, but this one came to me as I was just doing a thought exercise, during some contemplation, and what I'm gonna do I consider this kind of an awareness exercise for you, and so what I'm gonna do is take you through 3 parts. There's gonna be 3 parts to this, and what I'm hoping is that you're gonna play along. I would highly recommend you have something to write on and with, and so if you're driving, you might wanna pull over, or hit the pause button, but you can it's a great mental exercise as well. So just nonetheless, I wanna prepare you that we're gonna do a little bit of work on this podcast episode, and there are three parts to it. And again, it's just something that I personally experienced that was really beneficial for me, and I hope it will be just as beneficial for you. And so we're gonna start with part 1, and part 1 is just simply thinking about ways you find peace. And so I was sitting there with my usual legal pad and pen and just thinking about all the ways that I personally find peace, and so I'm gonna share my ways in the hopes that some will resonate with you and you'll grab some of those, but also that you'll think of all the ways that you find peace because we're all a little bit different. Okay? And so here we go.
Here's what I came up with for me. There were about 6, 7, 8 of them, but the first is stillness. You know, and so what we teach, one of the disciplines is obviously be still, and so forms of stillness are meditation, contemplation, prayer, and so and journaling, and and so any kind of stillness we're talking about with this one, but what I find is when I am still, whatever form of stillness, I just feel an incredible sense of peace. The next for me is silence, any form of silence. This is different than stillness because stillness is intentional. You know, I I I sat in that chair to experience stillness doing one of those four things. Silence is about just being silent.
And so sometimes I'm sitting out in the backyard and just staring at the landscaping in total silence. Sometimes it's, you know, sitting in a restaurant, but whatever it is, just being silent. So any form of silence is very, very peaceful for me, might be for you.
The 3rd is shedding. And so whenever I shed a layer, it is always followed by such incredible peace. And again, I'm gonna keep saying peace, but that also means joy, love, fulfillment, bliss, because bliss comes to mind for me as I shed layers. Another form or or another way is being conscious. And so when I say conscious, that also means being aware. That also means being present. And so I find peace when I'm conscious, aware, and present, and and and the most common is with others.
And so when I'm with family, when I'm with friends, when I'm with coworkers, employees, partners, clients, when I am consciously aware and present, I feel an incredible peace. Now this was not possible for me 10 years ago, and so I would my mind would always be racing. And so, for instance, you know, a family event where maybe there's 2 or 3 family members talking, sometimes I love to just sit back and be totally conscious and aware and observe the conversation. And I find such peace and joy in that, where in the past that was an opportunity for me to think about a couple business issues or solve any something like that.
You get it. Another is just deep conversation. I realize I just love having deep, vulnerable, intimate conversations with people, whether that's family, friends, coworkers, employees, whatever it is. When the conversation gets deep, I just feel so much peace. The next for me is massage. So I tend to get a massage about every month, but when I get that 90 minute massage, I always feel such incredible peace. And clarity breaks, you know, and so, with EOS, the system I created, we teach something called clarity breaks.
And a clarity break is just simply in business. It's a business related activity, but it's taking time out to just ponder and contemplate business related stuff. But it's not doing busy work. And so my clarity breaks for business are always sitting with a legal pad and a pen typically and just pondering, contemplating all things going on in the business, and it creates such clarity for me. But as I look back, you know, as as I look back in the last now 30 years of doing that, I find such peace, but I also realize that those were the moments that I really created EOS and helped to build EOS worldwide was in those incredible moments because it just took me to this place of bliss and clarity and joy and peace. And so those are some of mine. I would love you to list all of yours.
Hopefully, I helped you with your list. I would urge you to just hit the pause button and just ponder for another 1, 2, 3, 5 minutes, and just build your list of all the ways you find peace, because here's the magic. What I realized in doing the exercise is the more I do these things, the more it shows up everywhere for me. In other words, so the more I do these things, the more in the places and activities that I don't feel peace, peace starts to present itself. It, like, seeps into the rest of my life, and so it's just that simple thing where the more you practice it, the more it shows up. So there's no way for it to start to show up, though, until you make the list and you know the things that give you peace, and so what I keep doing now is just more and more and more of these Selves things that I listed because it just keeps getting better and better and better and showing up more and more and more in my life. So that's part 1 of the exercise.
Part 2 is now we're gonna list all the ways that you don't find peace, joy, love, fulfillment, bliss. Okay? And so my list, ironically, same thing. I came up with 7 things here. And so again, just to stimulate your mind, help you build your list, to cut to the chase. The idea here is to do less of these things if, you haven't figured it out yet. But here's what I came up with when I was doing this part of the exercise.
And so ways I don't feel peace. So the first is when I have expectations. When I'm rushing, when I'm pushing, when I'm not being patient. And so, you know, what is, excuse the French, kind of a mind fuck for me is go back 10 years ago, and everything was expectations and rushing and pushing and not being patient, and it served me very well in my outside world. I built a very nice empire with lots of expectations and lots of rushing and lots of pushing and lots of not being patient. But again, what it did to me on the inside was probably not worth it. But nonetheless, I always say, please, when in doubt, just keep pushing the outer world until you're ready for the inner world stuff.
But what I realize now is each time I have expectations for something, I feel less peaceful, I'm less grounded, I'm less connected, and I tend to be more frustrated. Or again, if I'm rushing something that doesn't need to be rushed, or if I'm pushing something that doesn't need to be pushed. The second thing I wrote down is when my heart is not open. And so I'm I'm now aware of when my heart closes. It's so clear to me and it's so clear to me when it's open. And so whenever my heart is closed, when it's not open, I'm just not feeling peace. The next is when I am guarded, and this is a little bit different than closing my heart, but similar because sometimes my heart is open, but it's it's when I'm just feeling unsafe, when I'm in a situation that I'm just feeling unsafe, and I'm now so hyper aware and clear when I'm in a situation that I'm just not feeling safe.
And so I just don't feel peace in those situations. And obviously, again, the theme with this list is to do less of it. So when I'm in a situation I'm not feeling safe, I just walk away from the situation assuming I'm able to, and most of the time I'm able to. The next thing I wrote down is when I'm around guarded people. Okay. And so the previous one was I don't feel peace when I'm guarded. I also don't feel peace when I'm around guarded people, and so for some reason now I see that.
You know, I I see people's pain, which is not fun, but I also see when they're guarded and it's so painful to watch and I look forward to the day that someday we all lower our guards. What a world it would be. And again, these are all to prompt thoughts for you, so hopefully you see the same thing, and maybe that's one of the ways that you don't feel peace is when you're with someone who has that wall up and you're just trying to break through and anyway, I'll I'll leave it right there. Next thing I wrote down is when I'm trying to control a situation. Okay. So same thing, man. The first, you know, my twenties, my thirties.
I was such a control freak. I controlled everything. Served me well in my outer world, but again, really did damage to the inner world. So I noticed whenever I'm trying to control a situation, I don't feel peace. And here's what's tough about that one, because most of us driven entrepreneurs out there, that's that's how we get stuff done. We control situations. But what I'm learning now, and hopefully you will and hopefully you have, but the less I control and more just create an opening and lead and come from love and kinda facilitate the right answers while surrounding myself with the right people.
That's that's vital. Things get there faster. So it's it's it's that one again is another mind fuck to use that term again. Next one I wrote down is when I overbook my calendar. So what I noticed is when there are lots of holes in my calendar, I feel peace. And when my calendar is just booked solid, I just feel less peaceful, which again, go back 10, 20 years ago. I used to love it when my calendar was just absolutely booked solid.
And then the last thing I wrote down is doing work I don't like. So when I do work I don't like, I just don't feel peace, joy, love, fulfillment. And so, again, the theme of all this list is to do less. So I'm just continuing to do less and less and less and less of the things that I don't like and making really tough decisions. So sometimes I'll have a pretty lengthy to do list for the day, and I'll look at that list and I'll just lop off 20, 30, 40 percent of it, which is really hard to do because, oh, man, I get caught up and if I get those things done that'll accomplish this much more, but in the grand scheme of things, is it worth the lack of peace? And so there's my list. Same thing if you want to hit the pause button right now, just spend 1, 3, 5 minutes thinking about what are all the ways that you don't find peace.
All of the activities, all the things that don't give you peace, joy, love, fulfillment, bliss, and when you're done with the list just simply do less of them. And then the third part to the exercise, this awareness exercise, this thought exercise, is that what I did is I just took myself to so what are the scenarios that I can maintain peace in that typically I would not be peaceful? Okay. And so I came up with 3 scenarios. And so what I want you to do is play along with me because I want you to answer this question and feel this. The goal here is to feel this in your bones because then I will I I believe it will show up for you. And this gets to the point I made with part 1 when I listed all the ways I find peace and how that's now trickling into the rest of my life, the idea is to feel that even in the toughest of situations.
And so here's scenario 1. Okay? And so picture this scenario. You are having a tough conversation with an employee, and let's go all the way to you have to fire someone, so you're firing this employee, but it could be as simple as, you know, you're just having a coaching conversation where they're really screwing something up or really doing something stupid, and you've got to have a really tough conversation that they're gonna get very uncomfortable. What I would urge you to think about in that situation is how can you bring peace, joy, love, fulfillment, and bliss to that conversation? And so what I'm realizing now is in these really tough conversations in my life, and I'm talking about all the business conversations because, again, I'm on this journey freeing my True Self, finding more peace.
I still have to run a business. I still have to have tough conversations. And so the I find the more I bring peace, joy, love, fulfillment to the conversations, the better they are, the better everyone feels. Now for some reason, I was blessed with this ability 10, 20 years ago. I think I learned it from my dad, but I was always able to stay really calm in tough conversations. So fortunately, this one was a little easier for me, but I look at my clients. I look at the driven entrepreneurs out there, and they really struggle with conflict.
And I think this could be a game changer here if you just start to think about how do I bring my True Self love, joy, fulfillment, bliss, peace to this conversation. And I think it'll be a much better conversation, much more productive conversation. You know, I find in these kind of conversations, even when it's a firing, they walk away feeling good. I don't know how else to say it, and so that's scenario number 1.
Let's go to scenario number 2. And so now we're gonna go to an argument with a family member or a friend.
So someone you love. So just just picture an argument. You can even think of an example that happened in the past. You can come up with a theoretical example in the future. You get to pick whoever it is, but think about an argument with a family member or a friend, and then picture yourself bringing peace to that conversation. And this is another thing I'm now noticing in my life, these tough personal conversations in my personal life.
This is where I did struggle. This is where I was terrible. So fascinated how I some of the things I was so different in my business life than my personal life, but in my personal life, I really was challenged with tough conversations. And now I'm seeing that when I'm having an argument with a family member or a friend, I I just feel this sense of peace. Not always. I would say it's probably half the time, but it is a different conversation because I'm sitting there.
I'm so present. I'm so aware. I'm so conscious.
Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I smile.
And when the person across from me is as peaceful and conscious and aware, we laugh together while we're still fiercely disagreeing with each other. In other words, we do not agree with this issue, but at least now we're hearing each other, and sometimes we just simply come to a place that we agree to disagree. I hear you. You hear me. Let's please now move on. So I'm seeing a huge shift there and I I hope the same for you, and so just play that scenario out. Go to the past, go to the future, and just walk through that, and I think it'll help you build that muscle.
And then scenario number 3 is just a silly one, but this came to me because it's so fascinating to to look at my 30 year journey on this one, and it is driving a car. Okay? So driving a car, and you're driving, and someone either cuts you off or beeps their horn at you or is riding your bumper. Okay? And so it's fascinating.
I love watching people. So somehow something flipped for me. This is about 5 years ago where I just stopped letting it trigger me. It does not trigger me anymore. Maybe 1 out of 20 times someone can get to me, but I mean, honest to God, 30 years ago, you'd have a fist fight on your hand if somebody cut me off, beat their beat their horn at me or were riding my bumper. You know, I'd pump the brakes and anyway, you get it. Some of you have been there.
Some of you do. I think most of us Dube, but take yourself to that situation. And, you know, it's I've had people, like, flip me off, and I just wave at them or somebody beeps at me. And again, I don't think I'm a terrible driver. This isn't happening often, but and and people don't, you know, consciously do these things necessarily. But what I I just simply smile now and then I think about I just laugh at Self. Why on earth would I let that work me up, get me so worked up?
Again, take my vibrational level down, take my shine down, and so now I just laugh at it, I wave at them, I smile, whatever. I just don't get pulled into it, and I get a kick out of watching people that get reactive when those things are happening. So take yourself to that situation or just practice it because something's gonna happen in the next 7 days while you're driving. And so there are 3 scenarios. There are lots of others, so I would urge you to come up with other scenarios. Think about some scenarios from the last 7 days and how you could have brought love, peace, joy, fulfillment to that situation, and how might it have been different? And if nothing else, how might it have been different for you?
So I hope this episode was helpful and sight full, and I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us, and please tune in for the next episode. Until then, if you'd like to see where you are on your True Self journey, go to shed and shine podcast.com to take the True Self assessment and receive personalized guidance. If you're all ready to begin your inner world journey with Rob and myself, please join us for the next round of the 10 disciplines group coaching program. We wish you all the best in freeing your True Self. Stay focused and much love.
