Gino
Welcome to the Shed and Shine podcast. I am Gino Wickman. This is where Rob Dube and I help driven entrepreneurs shed their shit, free their True Selves, unlock true entrepreneurial freedom, and shine. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us, and we hope to make a huge impact on you.
Rob
Hello, everyone. My name is Rob Dube, and I am back here with Gino Wickman. Gino, it is great to see you again.
Gino
You as well, my brother.
Rob
So on our last episode, we covered disciplines number 1 and number 2, 10 your thinking and take time off. Today, we're going to be discussing discipline number 3, know thyself, and discipline number 4, be still. So for you, the listener, in case you're wondering about the remaining 6 disciplines, you're going to hear them in the upcoming episodes. So stay tuned and listen in. So as I mentioned, discipline number 3 is know thyself. And as a reminder, I'm going to share what we call the bold statement, which means if you just did this one thing, that's all you'd have to do. So here it is.
Be your True Self 100% of the time, 247, 365. Okay, Gino. So with that in mind, I always love to throw it back to you for context so that'll get us going for our conversation.
Gino
Absolutely. You know, so contextually, what I would say here is this is all about being yourself, but you can't be yourself until you know thyself. And so knowing yourself is this journey of self discovery. And I always like to say there's kind of levels or layers, of of depth that you can go to. And so at a very high level, it's starting to understand your skills and abilities.
Those are really important. Certainly, very surface, very outer world focused. And then we can dig a little deeper and get into your personality and your traits, which is still kinda outer world focused, but we're starting to go a little deeper. Then getting into strengths and weaknesses, same thing, and then ultimately getting into your blocks, getting into your inner working, going inside and starting to shed stuff, and that's obviously the powerful inner world stuff. And as you True already said, our goal for you is that you are letting your freak lag fly.
Rob
Everyone laughs when they hear that. I love that.
Gino
That's why I love saying it
Rob
so much. I know.
It's so great. So, you know, one of the things I notice, clients when I work with them in the group coaching, 1 to 1, the mastermind, they will talk about how they are able to adapt very well in different situations, almost like a chameleon. And it's something they're proud of, and it creates a little bit of confusion in terms of this discussion about knowing Self. Because is being a chameleon your True Self? I I was just thinking about that, and I'm wondering what comes to mind for you when I say that.
Gino
Yeah. You know, it's funny because it's the first thing that I wrote down and that came to my mind. Because I'm also reminded of one of our students that mentioned, you know, she said it. I wish I can remember her exact words, but, you know, she's basically said, you know, I'm not gonna be the same person I am with my kids than I am with my coworkers. And, well, I can't remember the analogy, but it's like we could we can combine any aspect of your life in that statement.
And I'm like, yeah. You kinda should be. So so I really think that's what this is about. Is it starts with awareness and just being about understanding who you really are and being that in all aspects. And I certainly won't share the surprise birthday party story because it's in the book. We've talked about it. But, again, my awareness there was I was 6 different people in my life at 30 years old, and and it was exhausting. And so worst case, you know, let's pretend in that woman's case, you know, you're gonna be somebody different for your kids. Okay. I'll give on that.
Please be the same person for the other 5 factions because 6 different chameleons is a lot of work, a lot of heavy lifting. And so now inner outer benefits of this, look at what it's doing to your inner world, the energy that's being burned, the the I mean, just think of what your mind has to do to be that personality for that faction and that personality for that faction. I mean, it's just exhausting. It's such an opportunity, again, to take your energy through the roof just being one person Yeah. And and not having to work so hard.
Rob
You you I kept thinking about exhausting, you know, and you took the words right out of my mouth because this is if you were curious about how this helps you to manage and maximize your energy, this is it. It's exactly what Gino just said. And, you know, I know I I thought I'd share a little bit about what I was thinking about inner world. And, you know, when you're able to come back to you, your True Self, awareness of that is so freeing, and the rest doesn't matter. You don't have to care about what other people think in certain situations. And, again, that's managing and maximizing your energy. And I also think people are genuinely more attracted to you.
Not that you're necessarily looking for that, but they they will be because they can feel your energy, and that is just so authentic. And you love people with that that energy, and and they love people without thattic energy too. Does anything, yeah, anything We're we're
Gino
so we're so in sync because you're you're, like, taking the words out of my mouth because, you know, then I'm sitting here thinking, you know, if I were to describe, like, the ultimate inner world benefit and the outer world benefit of knowing thyself and again, ultimately being thyself. You know, the inner world benefit is a comfort. You know? So what's happening when we're not comfortable in our own skin and letting our freak flag fly, we're insecure. We're we're thinking about constantly thinking about the judgment of others or how are they gonna act, what are they gonna think. So all of a sudden for that to no longer happen, for you not to have to anticipate, worry about, or even think about what somebody's gonna think of you, just an just look at that energy, and that comfort of just being in your own skin. In the outer world, it's exactly what you just said there.
You're going to attract more people to you that are authentic. And so you being you, now all of a sudden, look at the relationships in your life. You you're attracting the family members that you wanna attract, the friends you wanna attract, the employees you wanna attract, and so you're just surrounded by people in your life that, you're just completely in sync because you're just fully being you. And when when your family, your friends, and your coworkers are all in sync, like minded, growing in the same direction, you're going to make a bigger impact on the world. You're going to have more outer world success.
How can you not?
Rob
Yeah. So, you know, there are you mentioned kind of at the outset, there's there's different ways to know thyself better. And, you know, I think about the idea that this is an ongoing thing for all of us. At least that's the way I think. But I don't know. Is it? At any point, could we stop?
Like, I'm exhausted getting to know myself know thyself. Can I just, like, take a break?
Gino
Well, you know, it's when I jotted down here, you know, it's really funny. Again, I just feel like we're so in sync on this. And so I wrote down get curious, and then I wrote fascination. You know? So it's like for me, all I can do is speak from my experience, and I have not gotten exhausted with knowing myself. So I I I can't speak from somebody who's like, okay. I'm all done knowing Self.
Because the way I look at it, for what this is worth, is its growth. You know?
And I am a grower. You know? I am a person who wants to grow, stretch, learn, reach. I'm more comfortable with the discomfort of growing than, you know, the the the feeling, you know, just satisfied where I am. You know? So it's like that. I choose that.
So it's hard for me to answer from that standpoint, but that's why these two words, I think, are so important. If you just simply got curious about Self, if you just simply became fascinated with understanding Self, because it's as much the good stuff as, for lack of our term, the bad stuff. That's not the right word to Dube. Oh, true. But to really start to understand, wow, that's why I react in that situation every True. To understand why you do that, the root of why that happened, and to go to that root and shed that, solve that, come to peace with that, forgive that, whatever it is, that thing stops. I mean, it like, instantly, you forget why it even came up in the first place.
And so it's just this this awareness, this consciousness, this presence about just understanding yourself. It's not being self centered. You know, it's not being conceded. It's not putting all the focus on you, but it's just a curiosity about, you know, why do I do these things that I Dube. And there's a great term I keep hearing over and over these last probably 2, 3, 4 years, and it just see life as it is. And this is just being really honest with yourself about who you are in the world because that's the other thing that happens.
We make it up. We just make shit up about Selves. They're real. And and and so to see life as it is, to see you as you are, it cannot just keep getting better. So I think it's never ending. I think growth is never ending. I think there's no end to it.
I think it's a matter of we just keep expanding if we're willing to. And to me, you know, that's a blast. So maybe I'm an anomaly.
Rob
No. I don't I'm right there with you, and I think many of our listeners are as well. I'm sure you are out there. That's probably why you're listening. I I have, one of my therapists, always says to me, serious, not so serious. And I love that because, you know, some of the things that when I'm recognizing what I'm doing, it's in some ways ridiculous and really humorous, but sometimes it needs to be very serious at the same time. So, you know, have a sense of humor to a certain degree.
And I think, Gino, one of the things you said that's really important is what about taking some time to go to the root of the really wonderful things that you do? Like, I think about, you know, say, like, some some traits that I feel like I gleaned from my grandmother, you know, that I just am so grateful for, and it helps me show up in a more positive way. So this isn't all about all the bad things, so to speak, which really is anything bad.
I don't even know.
Gino
Well, I mean, on on that, I'm so I'm so glad you said that because that's, you know, as important. I wanna frankly say more important, but I think some shedding of some stuff that's holding you back is pretty important. So I'm gonna put them on equal footing. But, yes, to see the 1, 2, 3, 4 things about you that are your gifts to this world, oh my god, the power of that. And, again, that's just be curious. Be fascinated. Yes. Seek to know thyself.
And, yes, see, they're getting out the best words to choose the good and the bad in you. And then there's one last thought that comes to mind for me, and it's I just have so much fun with this. But in in my late twenties, that's when I discovered I was an introvert. Okay? And every time I tell somebody I'm an introvert, they say, oh, there's no way you're an introvert. And and the point I'm making here and the example of this is is I am so at peace with being an introvert. And many people view introversion as, you know, a weakness, a bad thing, a shortcoming, or whatever, and it's not true at all.
So some of us are extroverts, some of us are introverts, but I take such comfort now in knowing my introversion that when it gets that reaction, for the 1st 10 years, I used to feel very defensive, like I need to defend that. Well, knowing that about myself, I can now embrace that. I know where I get my energy, which is going inside. The the I know the many traits of the introvert, and so I just fully embraced it. And as a result of that, and my energy just goes through the roof because it's just another example in a way of I'm just being me, and don't apologize. So unapologetic.
Rob
Unapologetic. I love it.
Gino
My freak flag fly.
Rob
Okay. Very good.
And you said one last thing. Is there any other last thing that you wanna share?
Gino
I think
Rob
we covered everything. Last thing. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. Alright. So let's move on to discipline number 4, be still.
So always starting with the bold statement, which is sit in silence for 30 minutes every day. So, Gino, back to you, context, and then we'll go from there.
Gino
Yeah. And this is so this is just the age old sharpen the saw or sharpen the ax. You know, as the story goes, when we're chopping the tree down, if we take a break from time to time and we sharpen that saw, we sharpen that ax, and then get back to chopping or cutting, you will cut the tree down faster. And so it's sharpening the saw, sharpening it. It's it's just simply taking that breather. I love how someone said it to me recently, which is you gotta stop from time to time and let your soul catch up. And so there's just great power in just stopping.
And we wanna get you to 30 minutes, but you can start with 10. Just if it if 30 is daunting, just take 10 and see the benefits, and then go to 11 minutes and 12 minutes and 15 and then 20 and then 30, but just try it on because when those tectonic plates, when that central nervous system calms, the magic happens. All these wonderful words we've been saying, creativity, inspiration, energy, you see things better, you make better decisions, very, very powerful.
Rob
And all those things are what helps you to manage and maximize your energy. So, now we share 4 ways, to be still, but there's countless others. Find the ones that work best for you. The 4 are, prayer, meditation, contemplation, and journaling. And, you know, one of the things, Gino, in knowing you for so many years, I've been able to kinda hear about and witness how your be still routine has changed a little bit over the years. It's really cool. I I actually love your routine now, and I share it with so many people in when I teach the classes.
Can you talk about how you go about your be still routine?
Gino
Yeah. For sure.
But contextually, I wanna make this point because I appreciate you pointing out the fact that mine keeps changing and evolving because I somebody gave me some advice about 2 years ago that was so freeing for me. And she was talking to me, but I can't be alone out there. And what she said to me is she said, you know, the person that you are, you need to change it up from time to time. And so I really love that freedom to just sometimes I just feel like I need to change it up for whatever reason. Now again, it's all about stillness, and it's still roughly 30 minutes. I do about 3 to 5 times a week, so I try every day, but 3 to 5, I get a lot of benefit out of. And the current practice for me is I sit in a big comfortable chair in my office.
I start by grounding myself, take a few deep breaths. I kinda clear my space. I then settle in. My brain races for 10 minutes, and then it seems to calm down right around that point. And for the next 20 minutes, I basically watch the show. And and and so that's kind of it, and and sometimes there are fireworks and sometimes there's nothing, but there's no question all those benefits happen. But I will say this because something's kind of evolving more for me here.
And about a year and a half ago, I learned about lying meditations where you could actually lie down and actually do a meditation. I found that odd or hard to believe, but I started doing some of that with great benefit. And so in those 3 to 5, I will now intersperse them, and sometimes I will do it in the middle of the night. If I happen to wake up in the middle of the night, right there in bed, I will go through a process, and I will have a meditative experience that is quite powerful. And then following it immediately, I sleep better. But some kind tinkering with something new, and I might be evolving again, but I do I'm incredibly fond of the big comfy chair. That's the primary right now, but those are some examples.
I'm also starting to incorporate a little bit of journaling, a little bit of contemplation, but that's kinda up and over. I went through this journaling phase that was really productive. Other than that, I really struggle with journaling. The closest thing I come to journaling is sitting with a legal pad and a pen in a Starbucks, and I'll I'll write some good stuff there. But, no. There's there's some examples of how I do it.
So many ways.
Rob
Yeah. So many good ways.
Gino
So many apps. I mean, there are it's there are literally 10,000 different ways out there. So you gotta choose the one that works best for you.
Rob
Yeah. If it's hard, one thing that I like to share with people, and it's helpful for many, is, just get out a pad of paper and start writing things you're grateful for. No matter how big or small, it doesn't matter. And that can just get you going. And the next thing you know, you might have 5 or even 10 minutes that have gone by if you just let it go and let it go.
So there you go. You're kinda easing your way into being still. I mean, you are being still when you do that. And then you might put the pad of paper down and just sit and follow your breath for a little bit, and, you know, maybe another 10 minutes will go by, maybe even 20. So those are some things to think about. I always like to share. Any anytime I get an opportunity to share my favorite quote, I have to do it.
It's from Anne Lamott, and she says, my mind is like a bad neighborhood. I try to never go there alone. And sometimes that's I wonder why it's hard for people, myself included, to sit down, because you know it's coming. You know when you sit down, everything's gonna rush to the top. Your subconscious is saying, don't go sit. Keep busy. Like, we don't want any of that right now. So Yeah. And
Gino
here's I would ask, Rob, on you, if you could just quickly share your meditation routine just so our audience is hearing, you know, a couple variations.
Rob
Sure. So when I wake up, I I meditate for 45 minutes, and then I journal for 10. And then before I, in my meditations as simple, focus on my breath, bringing attention to my thoughts, and then coming back to the present moment, which, I use my breath as an anchor. And then I do that same type of meditation and journaling in the evening for 20 minutes. So 20 minute meditation and then about a 5 minute journaling kind of reflecting on the day and moments of gratitude. So there's another way you can do it. So, you know, the other thing I just wanted to ask you about, Gino, is shedding layers when you're being still.
So what what are your thoughts and experiences there?
Gino
Yeah. For sure.
And and this, we could go 30 minutes into. So I'm gonna try to give you a 3 minute version, and then hold me to task that we don't go too deep into this because we've certainly talked a lot about shedding layers in previous episodes. So if you haven't listened to those, go back to those. But as we go into this, I wanna hit an inner outer world benefit, and if you have anything to add, please do. But I just like, the greatest inner world benefit, which is kind of obvious, but it's peace and calm. You know, if you want more peace and calm in your life, in addition to, again, the incredible energy spike, this is an amazing discipline for increasing your inner peace, inner calm. Outer world benefit is you just make better decisions.
All of a sudden, you start with this kinda inside out approach to the world. When you sit in stillness, your True Self takes over, your soul takes over, and you just start making better decisions in business, in your life, and you can just do the math on the impact and and and what that does for you. So with that said, you know, with shedding, I wanna start with a mini context on this, and maybe go a little back and forth with you on this. But, you know, basically, what happens to your exact point, you know, but you mentioned your subconscious doesn't want you to. Your ego also doesn't want you to sit and still, is it? So it's your ego that's fighting you saying, do not do this. Because, yes, when you are still in all forms of stillness that we suggest, stuff is going to come up.
And the way that it comes up is it's a feeling of sensation and emotion, and it's not pleasant sometimes. And so sometimes you will feel something in your stomach, you'll feel something in your chest, other places in your body, but those are the 2 biggies for me. And what I have learned for me is when it's in my chest, it's something about the past. When it's in my stomach, it's something about the future. And so I'm able to kinda zero in, but here's the beauty. You don't have to know what it is. What you have to understand is that sometime in your life in the past, you stuffed something down.
You had an experience that was not pleasant, and you stuffed it down. And your ego is so masterful. It has buried in there so deep that it's impossible for you to see it. Well, it comes up in stillness, and it comes up with as much pain as it went down. And so the idea is just to let it come up and process it. And there are times when it will process in a minute. On average, it's 90 seconds.
But then there are some that take days, and there are some that are so painful, you need to go get some professional help, maybe some therapy, whatever it is, because you've got some really big stuff in there. But the point is, when you practice stillness, stuff's going to come up. These are beautiful opportunities for you to shed pain to realize more bliss, more peace, more enjoyment in your life.
And so Yeah. Let it happen is
Rob
Let it happen. I mean, you'll be even more lighter, and you'll have even more clarity in your life. It's so true. Okay, Gino. Any else anything else on your mind with this one? Yeah.
Gino
You know, the the other thing that comes to mind is, you know, so we teach an exercise called the True Self exercise. There is a podcast episode from the past. If you've not done the exercise or listened to the episode, please do so. But what's the reason I share that is that came to me in a meditation, You know? And it went it took me to the root of one of my biggest fears and helped me shed it, which was being alone, but also getting to know me. And so in that meditation, everything from my life went away, and it was in this big circle around me, but it was no longer in my life. And, a lot of learning and healing came from that, and, you know, so wherever that came from, I always lovingly like to say when it came from nowhere, it came from somewhere.
So wherever that came from, it came, and thank God we're teaching that to the world because that exercise has
Rob
been transformed. Yeah. Please go to that episode, the True Self exercise episode. Yeah.
Gino
So so the point is just some really cool stuff comes up. Painful, scary, cool, good insights. I don't know how it works, but when you really get to that place of stillness, of consciousness, of presence, of awareness, your True Self starts doing the talking, I e, your soul starts doing the talking, and there's some really good wisdom in there that needs to be heard.
Rob
Love it. Love it.
Thank you, Gino. That was a great way to end this one. And it was so great seeing you again, and I can't wait to do this again very soon.
Gino
Right back at you, brother. Thank you for listening in today. We truly appreciate you taking the time to spend with us, and please tune in for the next episode. Until then, if you'd like to see where you are on your True Self journey, go to shed and shine podcast.com to take the True Self assessment and receive personalized guidance. If you're all ready to begin your inner world journey with Rob and myself, please join us for the next round of the 10 disciplines group coaching program. We wish you all the best in freeing your True Self. Stay focused and much love.
